Maine Sportsman's Weight Loss Plan - Down East

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Inspired by the 50 pounds lost by Bangor Daily News outdoor writer John Holyoke, I've set my mind – and perhaps my body – on a course to lose the extra insulation in my mid-section. Toward that goal, I've created this Sportsman's Weight Loss Plan.

Switch to light beer, at least when you are having more than one.

Perform 30 minutes of aerobics when watching the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics, and Bruins.

Even though you don't shoot them, eat lots of vegetables.

Three times per week, pop a hunting or fishing video in the DVD player and exercise vigorously for 30 to 60 minutes on a Nordic Trac, exercise bike, or treadmill.

Restrict your meat eating to venison. It's lean and good for you. Grouse are an acceptable substitute, providing you shoot your own.

To prepare for the November gun season, take a long hike and scout for deer two mornings a week. When you see a deer, try running with it. Deer are sprinters. They don't run far. You will be surprised to discover that you can keep up with the deer (this may take a while until you begin to take off those pounds!).

Walk – don't ride – into your deer stand.

If you go to deer camp, don't pig out! May I mention portion control as a strategy?

Eat beans for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They are very filling. And get Tim Sample's CD titled Saturday Night at Moody's Diner. When you hear it, you'll understand my recommendation.

Eat fish that you have caught for three dinners per week. No catch 'em. No dinner. More pounds lost!

Use the broiler – throw away the fryer. Ok, my wife Linda came up with this one.

Let your wife (and this one is personal because mine is a nutritionist) prepare your meal plan – and authorize her to nag you if you deviate from it.

on your woodpile at least four times per week. Forgo the wood splitter and do it the old fashioned way. Chop, chop, chop.

Remove the outboard from your boat and troll the way they used to – by rowing.

Get out your heaviest firearm and use it as a weight lifting device, lifting it quickly to your shoulder, again and again and again. Good practice for getting off that quick shot. It's acceptable to do this at a range and use live ammunition.

Don't worry about the approach of the Thanksgiving feast. The Sportsman's Weight Loss Plan is fully suspended for all holiday meals, the next of which comes this Sunday - National Boss Day. October 24 is United Nations Day. October 31 is Halloween (ok to eat candy on this day). November 1 is All Saints Day. November 2 is the Day of the Dead. No kidding. And you'll be dead if you don't shape up!

If you have other suggestions for the Sportsman's Weight Loss Plan, please send them my way. And if you find a good tasting light beer, let me know!

The views expressed on this Web site are those of the authors alone and do not necessarily represent the views of Down East Enterprise or its employees.

12 Oct, 2011

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